Full disclosure here, I am about to get real, very real… and if you can’t handle… stop there! However, my gut is telling me there will be something in this message for you too!
Why do I even associate the two together Money & Shame? Probably because I have felt shame around money for years, and to be honest with you… I have felt this for most of my adult life. Reason being, I never had a good relationship with money. I didn’t love it, I didn’t respect it and I didn’t honor it, so I just took it for granted… all this time.
Our money stories are deeply rooted into our childhood and what we were taught (and not taught) about money, how to budget, what it means to save and invest, how to earn a living and that credit cards are the devil. This is my experience anyway, never being taught how to budget, that I needed to make money in order to have the “things” & “stuff” I wanted in life, money doesn’t grow on trees and money does not come easy… you must work very hard for it – Period, end of story. WOW… as a small child that ought to scare you off forever. And guess what, it did – until now.
33 years later, I am getting real with my money situation and have most recently taken a very deep dive into the how and why and what the hell am I going to do about this now.
Debt – we all have it, whether it be from credit cards, lines of credit, loans etc. In my opinion and being of the millennial generation, the only reason we have debt is because of our need for wanting everything now, the “buy now” – “pay later” mindset. So, there you have it, I need to look the part, have the things and stuff and apparently go in to debt because of it?
The need for MORE – more money, more stuff, more toys, more vacations, more clothing, more homes, more cars. So, let me ask you this, how is this serving you? The need for wanting more? I am not sitting here telling you that you do not deserve more, however from my experience, the need for MORE is deeply rooted into so much more that’s within us today. More is filling a void in which you choose not to look at, more is covering up the truth that lies within you, more is your ego saying stay here because it’s safe or run because you deserve better, it’s what you know based on past beliefs, experiences and knowledge.
Would you agree that MORE abundance does not come from the things and stuff we fill our lives with, but rather from within? Do you agree that fulfillment is peace within ourselves, our past and acceptance of whatever the future may bring us? Looking everywhere else but within is why I, myself got into debt and the exact reason I am getting out of debt. This was a True AH HA moment for me, which only literally happened within the last week.
As I continue to work on myself, for myself and the ones I love, this was the true awakening I needed. I got real with my money story. I investigated, I defined, I outlined, I understood, I owned-it, I trusted and I saw for the first time in my life – the pattern, the avoidance and the shadow in which I have been carrying all these years.
Getting honest with myself and not hiding thinking it would just go away is the reason I am openly talking about this experience. Believe me when I say this, I have NEVER in my life talked about money before… because the shame around it, the misunderstanding and the negative mindset I had in me all this time. So, this is my fuel, to talk about it, own it, stand right in front of it, with an open and grateful heart.
Here’s to confronting our money story head on, to not feel shame or guilt and to ask for help when you need it. There is NO shame in that, there is only so much to be released and freed if you are willing to accept what has been, and are open to the beautiful teaching that this lesson gives us. Choose, every single day again… to remember where you have come from and to be reminded that money is love, the more we appreciate and value it, the more it will come to us.