How to use judgement in your favor
For so long I used to cringe at the thought of this word, let alone uttering it.
Why oh, why does it have such a negative connotation around it?
Because that’s all we know it to be, from the conditioning of young children, which then carriers through us in our adult life. That need to constantly compare and therefore we subconsciously judge; ourselves, others and the rest of the world. Great!
I say Great – because in all reality, it is great, twisted right?
Here me out. What if we took this “negative” word and turned it into a positive? For instance, being aware, observing and admiring the path others choose to walk in their life, or what they look like, or what their sexual orientation is, or how much or little money they have, or what their business is, or how slim or large they appear, or what they do with their spare time, or who they date, or how they walk through life in all aspects.
Would it look a lot different to you?
The answer is YES.
I’ve been practicing this work for a long while now because, well truth be told, I have a very bad relationship with judgement. I’ve spent many years and many moments wasting away my life by judging myself and others.
I compared, I wished, I longed, I wanted, I craved that “glorious, beautiful, shining” life that those around me and on social media “seem to live”. The worst part was, I wasted time and energy talking about it with others.
Judging, ridiculing, blaming, and disrespecting even those that I love the most.
Sitting here writing about it I feel awful, however I am so grateful to have come to realize this: that life is way too short to be comparing and judging THEIR LIFE, THEIR SITUATION and THEIR DECISIONS to those of my own.
This awakening lead me to these 5 important reminders that I want to share with you…
#1 When we judge others, we must look beneath to uncover what we are hiding from in ourselves. There is often something missing within ourselves when we place judgement on others. I invite you to deepen in and start to turn your assumptions into admiration the next time you find yourself in this head space.
#2 Gossip is unhealthy. PERIOD. Perhaps this statement says it all, but when we negatively gossip about others, we are literally spreading negativity into our hearts, into our bodies and into the world around us creating a toxic ripple effect throughout our lives. After all, stress, fear, anxiety, depression become activated when we talk negatively about others as well as ourselves.
#3 When we look to others for validation, that means we are not giving ourselves the love and attention we need. There are so many things we work on within ourselves, a big one is how we talk to ourselves. How would your life change if you woke up every morning, looked yourself in the mirror despite how you are feeling and what your busy day entails, take just a moment to say this: I am beautiful, I am loved and I have so many gifts to give this world.
#4 Comparing ourselves, our lives and our experiences with those on social media is nonsense. Everything and Everyone on social media has their own story that is transcribed and splashed all over the web through imagery and verbiage documenting “THEIR LIFE”. This means, it has nothing to do with you, if you’re reading it, and feeling as though you wish you had their life. Please, I encourage you to pause, and embrace the beauty of what you’re reading and seeing. We do not have any clue how hard they have worked to get to where they are at. Celebrate them!
#5 Lastly, focus on YOU. It’s a terrifying yet oh so beautiful reality that we simply do not have control over anyone else’s actions, behaviors or feelings besides those of our own. Dive into yourself, maybe this is through reading, journaling, exercising, but I long for you to appreciate how far you have come in this life… even if today… it feels like you’re steps backwards.
Looking beneath and understanding what drives our emotions and behavior will only make us stand in our strength and learn to deeply appreciate those around us just a little bit more… regardless of “what appears on the outside”.
Much Love & Light,